The Emotionally Mature Christian

multipolar disorder

For many of us our spiritual discipline habits are on point. We read the Bible and pray every day. But filled with anxiety and fear, our mood often unpredictable.

I was this Christian. I discovered something that started me on a journey towards a more emotionally mature Believer. I realized that I was emotionally immature. Even though I knew the Word, prayed often and valued the things of God, I was not emotionally mature. Peter Scazzero wrote in his book, “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” that “it is impossible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.”

Ouch? Yes, but an accurate statement. So, what is emotional maturity? The Root defines emotional maturity as “the ability to handle situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Instead of seeking to blame someone else for their problems or behavior, emotionally mature people seek to fix the problem or behavior. They accept accountability for their actions.”

Emotional maturity strives to do these things:

  • Identify and recognize feelings
  • Show empathy (identifying with and having compassion for others)

This, I believe, is a missing component of spirituality in the life of many Believers. Thankfully, emotional immaturity isn’t a fixed problem. We can grow and become more in control of our emotions through the help of the Holy Spirit. I’m still a long way from where I need to be, but I understand that emotional maturity is not trying to “fix people.” You can’t change anyone, but yourself. It’s hard enough trying to change YOU, we need to focus and assess our own behavior. Emotionally mature Christians can resolve conflict in a healthy way (the biblical way). The “fight or flight response is the way most people respond to conflict—doesn’t work through the conflict, resulting instead in a heated outburst or a “head in the sand.” Conflict doesn’t dissolve because I refuse to confront it (which usually only creates more conflict). Many Christians, myself included, equate peace with conflict avoidance, which goes against the scriptures. Sweeping conflict under the rug, doesn’t make it go away, and it is certainly is not Kingdom.

Emotional maturity says you can work through conflict in a way that brings conflict resolution for both sides. But doing so requires empathy (acknowledgement of the other person’s feelings and situation) being in control of your emotions and focus on conflict resolution than winning. Kingdom people rise above the tit-for-tat culture that so many are content and accustomed to. Emotionally mature Christians believe God loves them for who they are, not for what they do. Unfortunately, many people think otherwise. Their view of God and God’s view of them depends on how well they keep God’s laws. Emotionally mature Christians are patient and kind, motivated to serve others through the love of God them themselves have embraced. But they don’t allow their good works for God to outweigh their time with God. Emotionally mature Christians are not perfectionist (preaching here to myself too). When you are a perfectionist you are always left with a nagging feeling of failure, you’re hard and impatient with others and rarely celebrate their success, you can’t celebrate small wins or progress. Emotionally mature Christians never lose sight of their fallibility (limited nature). They celebrate small victories, and they accept that they’ve made mistakes. Emotionally mature Christians receive criticisms without becoming defensive because they know themselves, their strengths and weakness. They also know who they are in God and have desire to touch the world for His Kingdom, therefore, criticism doesn’t rattle them nor is it a personal attack.

Unless you know who you are and find your identity in God, criticism will impact you, because you are bound to the opinions of others. Emotional maturity is not only important for spiritual growth but is essential for living. God created us with emotions. They are an important aspect of who we are, but they shouldn’t impact our decision making. This, in turn, makes us more effective in ministry, our relationships, careers and all areas of our lives where we encounter other people.

Advertisement

Published by: Kim Petitt

As a person living with a disability challenge is part of my life. I struggled with my identity and I recognize that I still have insecurities to face, but that doesn't mean I can't walk in everything God has purposed me to walk in despite my insecurities. Because of the nature of my condition and physical disability, God's grace is evident in my life everyday and I find strength in the word of God that says in Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who gives me power". (CJB).

Tags, , 30 Comments

30 thoughts on “The Emotionally Mature Christian”

  1. ON OUR AUTOIMMUNE SYSTEM

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    So A DEADLY VIRUS!!! is Gonna KILL!!! Us ALL unless We Accept The Vaccine that is Scheduled for December Release by Money Grubbing Pharma; sniffles, inflammation, joint pains et al ARE ALL Indicative of Healthy Immunity and Evolution…a Child KNOWS!!! This Truth; so just Ask The Kids 🤔 ? The Best Time to LAUGH!!! is when Some, Oh So Serious, ‘Grown Up’, sez “THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!!!” 🤣😅😆😁😄😃😀😂🙂

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON ZEROS

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    Most people Don’t Realise that Zero is a Number as in 0-9; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that Ten Doesn’t Exist without a One and a Zero…a friend is Wanting to Make Money from Their Passion so I Advised Them to Get a Menial Job, Virtually Zero Income, and Pursue Their Passions; obviously 9/11 is Dreadful yet They Labelled it Ground Zero; then Built SomeThing Else…so, in Summary, Zero is a Number; such as Zero Points (Black Holes) and Zero Fields (White Holes, Big Bangs Waiting to Happen)

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    Like

    1. Thank you for your comment however this post in not talking about the virus. Nonetheless, God is still in control even over the virus. And for the rest of your comment, this posts isn’t talking about following your passion nor careers. I also don’t believe in the white hole, big bang theory, it’s false teachings.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

        ♡ Fair Enough; Here’s The Latest I Have Been Asked by Goddess to Write to YOU!!! in Defiance of “God”:

        ◇ nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit

        …it’s Latin; just like Those Middle Age Priests, circa 2000 Year Old Religious Folk, who Refused to Share Their Writing Skills and Corrupted The Bible to Their Own Patriarchal Ends…

        ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

        …◇◇◇…

        Like

      2. ♡ If YOU!!! Have Any Questions Pray and Ask The Holy Trinity of “God”, Jesus and The Holy Spirit; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that that They Have Many Questions for YOU!!! about YOUR!!! Free Will

        …♡♡♡…

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this! I am in a place where my relationship with God feels so strong but my anxiety has gotten out of control. I’ve felt guilty for having those negative feelings, but this makes me feel so much better! Loved this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice post Kim! It’s true we can’t change others, but we can change how we react in situations with God’s help. Growing in Christ definitely helps us to mature emotionally. It makes a big difference in our lives when we learn to control our emotions. It’s also a great witness of our faith in God.

    Like

  4. Yes, Sister! You have it right. We can only change ourselves if we have the emotional intelligence to do so. It is tough in today’s world when people look at Christians and say, “You can’t look at people like projects”, when in all honesty, I am striving to give an example that will inspire change within themselves and help them learn to lean on the Body of Christ. Amen girly and I loved your writing 🕊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by. Yes, as Believers we are called to let our lives shine according to Matthew 5:16.

      Thank you for the compliment, I’m thankful you enjoyed this post.

      Like

  5. Thank you Kim for this post. It is important as Christians to be aware of our feelings and not be controlled by them. A good book I read recently that relates to this topic is “Get Out of Your Head” by Jennie Allen. I highly recommend it. Thanks for sharing your gifts with us!

    Like

    1. Thank you for stopping by and reading. I’m thankful you were blessed. I sit under the leadership of a great teacher. I invite you to check him out tonight @ 9 pm (central time) You can:

      YouTube (Apostle Dr. Dana Carson)

      Facebook(Dana Carson)

      Instagram (Dana Carson)

      Or Periscope (Dana Carson)

      I hope you can join us, it’s an interactive Bible Study where you can submit your questions and get them answered live.

      Blessings!

      Like

  6. Thank you for sharing! Yeah, you’re so right; emotions are so powerful and can have a negative impact if we ignore them or allow them to dictate our decisions. Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV) – “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” I personally am learning to process my emotions through the lens of the Gospel rather then letting them control me.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s